...I don't really know how to start this. I know when my fiance see's this she will be worried, so I'll try my best not to do that. I...have noticed that over the past 6 months or so that I've become more withdrawn from the life outside this house, or even my room. At first I didn't notice it, I had actually spent a month in my house, and I may have left it once or twice total, and I have continued to do this since last September after my fiance went back home. Only this morning did I realize this started years ago, and progressively got worse as time went on. I'm 29 years old, not married, no job, and not much life to speak of...this morning my father took the phone from my room which didn't bother me, it was the way he answered my calls. I felt the way he answered it made it sound like I didn't want to speak to them cause I was in bed. Anyone that calls me knows that I answer even if I'm asleep. When he said he didn't care I lost it. A huge argument soon followed, then when my younger brother decided to jump in it only got worse. Next thing I know I'm getting ready for a fist fight with my brother...worse part is I wanted it...I wanted to hit him. I felt I needed to. My father stepped in and stopped us but it didn't stop there. My dad said he would never use my phone even if I begged him...I threw my phone across 2 rooms smashing it on the fridge. Believe it or not but this used to be a regular problem with us, but after an argument between my brother and father I walked in on my father with a 9mm automatic to his head...after that I did my best never to argue with him, and because of that I've become used to hiding my anger from him, then I started doing it with other people. As a result I think I'm close to my breaking point. I'm tired of this house, tired of this room, and tired of being alone. I've put off way to many things in my life, and I have to change that, but I don't know what to do really. I feel like I'm stuck...I've watched on 4 occasions someone try to kill themselves, and I've had to try and stop them. It's almost as if I'm not getting the chance to lean on someone else for a change, and every time I try to...they don't understand, they never do, and 1 by 1 the people online I cherished so much has stopped talking to me,and I admit some of those I stopped talking to myself. All I know is right now I have never felt so alone, and worthless. I don't even know who I am anymore...